I Love Thee, My Ford…Oops! What I meant to say was…

No matter what kind of business you’re in, print mistakes happen. And when they do, the results can be hilarious. Enjoy this selection of heavenly howlers from church newsletters and noticeboards.

  • Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight in the church hall. Come and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
  • Next Thursday will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
  • Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands.
  • Potluck supper, Sunday at 5.00pm. Prayer and medication to follow.
  • The 8th graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7.00pm. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
  • Next Sunday Mrs Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The Reverend will then speak on ‘It’s a Terrible Experience.’
  • Scouts are saving aluminium cans & bottles for recycling. Proceeds used to cripple children.
  • 22 members were present to hear Mrs Crutchfield and Mrs Rankin sing a duet, The Lord Knows Why.
  • Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want to be remembered.
  • This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
  • After today’s service, coffee and donuts will be served in the basement. Come on down and say hell to the pastor.
  • All are welcome to attend. You’ll hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
  • Helpers are needed! Please sign up on the information sheep.
  • Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
  • The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
  • The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing ‘Break Forth Into Joy’.
  • The Lord came down and saved my soup.
  • Don’t let worry kill you off – let the church help.
  • The Low Self Esteem Group will meet Thursday at 7.00pm. Please use the back door.
  • Hymn 1: I Love Thee, My Ford.
  • Miss Charlene Mason sang, ‘I Will Not Pass This Way Again’, giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
  • Barbara remains in hospital, but is having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Nelson’s sermons.
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