French widow in every bedroom – the typos that got away

For coping with unexpected guests, it’s always a good plan to keep a few tons of sardines in the house. – Woman’s Weekly

To call a broad from France, first dial 00. – Paris guidebook

Later that same evening after a vain search all around the village, Mary found the dog dead in the garden. She curried the body indoors. – Life in Barnsthorpe, Patricia Cox

One man was admitted to hospital suffering from buns. – Bristol Gazette

You’re sick. If you feel cold, put on a sweater, crap yourself in a blanket or turn up the heat, recommend the physicians. – Huffington Post

French widow in every bedroom. – Hotel advertisement

Absolutely no parking offenders will be prosecuted – Sign in a Sydney warehouse estate

‘They’ve been suggesting that for some time, it’s all rubbish. It’s fiction.’ His comments followed claims that the Prince has been secretly Mrs Parker-Bowles for more than a decade, and as often as once a week. – Evening Gazette

Do not sue Vicks Sinex for longer than 7 days without medical advice – Packaging advice

Yoko Ono will talk about her husband John Lennon, who was killed in an interview with Barbara Walters. – US TV magazine

Keeping all food under cover is the first step toward ridding the house of aunts. – Albany Journal

Police in Hawick yesterday called off a search for a man who is believed to have frowned. – The Scotsman

Births, Deaths and Mirages – Smith’s Weekly, Sydney

It took many rabbits many years to write the Talmud. – Holland Evening Sentinel, Michigan

Deceased estate. Resident in excellent condition. – Real Estate Section, SMH

Eat, Pray, Love – Rachael Ray finds inspiration in cooking her family and her dog. –Tails Magazine

Martini & nipples – Aperitif menu, Lake Garda hotel

Germans are so small that there may be as many as one billion, seven hundred million of them in a drop of water. – US Mobile Press

The way she swung her hips it was clear she was a wonton woman. – Student essay, UK